The end of summer is a perfect time to improve your personal relationships before September, when everyone goes back to the same old routine. With a combined 100 years experience in the field with my dad Master Tin Sun, having seen countless families from varied cultural, educational, financial and social backgrounds, we know most families just sail back to the same stressful routine when school starts. Once your family is in the routine there isn’t much peaceful time to communicate deeply.
There is a famous Chinese slogan that translate as, “Success is the combination of good timing, helpful networking and optimal placement (Feng Shui). To achieve a commanding position in business one simply can’t do without all 3 being aligned. I will go over the business aspect in my next post. For harmony with family and loved ones the same holds true: all three aspects are necessary.
This Year of the Ox (double Earth element) is the year to build new foundation as I expressed since last year through my videos. Summer of this Lunar cycle is the significant opportunity to make some positive changes going forward. Summer months represents Fire Element and in this Double Earth Element cycle when heavy, intense energy is still weighing people down, warm months can stimulate growth, improvement and changes. Now is the time to make time to clear the air and devise new routines and ways to communicate that will make your relationships thrive.
I know a lot of families can have better harmony and less resentment and stress from clearing the air and a revised routine. For this they need the cooperation from their life partner or children. My advice is optimizes the window of opportunity through timing and optimal geography now before school starts.
Good timing is now when the weather permits outdoor activities. It is more useful to discuss serious or intense issues surrounded by nature than inside the house. Most homes have not been Feng Shui correctly by the authentic style from the Chinese culture, so the energy (Five Elements composition) of each occupant and how they respond to the energy of the space and other family members has most likely not been balanced. Without knowledge of where the strong, positive point of the house is for communication and strengthening one’s own energy it’s hard to make progress. That being so, bringing up controversial or intense topics often lead to disagreement and no resolution. Until you have the house Feng Shui and know where the strong and weak points are, it is best to take heavy conversation outdoors. This could be in a park or your own backyard.
Solar energy and air flow enables us to be more open mentally and physically, so its easier to agree. For more benefit, best hours now in Northern hemisphere are late afternoon / early evening between 5pm and sunset on a clear calm day with good weather. Beautiful surroundings with a calm water element such as a pond, lake or river (rather than ocean), and cool green trees is best. During late afternoon/ early evening the energy is calmer. Also, having such conversations before sunset allows you to visualize any difficulty being taken away with the setting sun – allowing the day to end on a positive note.
For those who have yet gone on the summer vacation, maybe bring this conversation up with your partner or children on the last day or two of the trip. If you have been having a harmonious time and confident that you could get your points across peacefully, you could touch that subject lightly second to last day and step back. This enables the other person to think about, digest and give you a response later. Then, use the last night to come to a conclusion. If you have been doing your part to ensure joy, respect, harmony during the trip, your suggestion for change should meet less resistance and even if you hit some rough patches, that negative energy is not accumulated in your own home. After all, once you are home, trying to run the same routine like clockwork, the energy would be too uptight lacking ease in your facial, body language or proper verbal delivery.
When there is harmony at home, everyone wins. The art of communication is knowing what to say at the right time and at right place that is not driven by ego or ignorance. Remember, the trick is to start your conversation with a compliment like “Thanks to your hard work, we could still afford to have this vacation and the quality time as a family. I have been really enjoying watching you have fun and relax to release the stress you carried all year around. So, I thought what I could do to help maintain the sense of peace for you & all of us when we get back to our base and came up with some ideas that I like to run by you.”
Start by appreciating the contribution of the other person, acknowledging his or her dedication follow by hoping to do better on your part by modifying the old way.
Communication is an art, rhythm is helpful and when combine with good timing and Feng Shui, the best is yet to come!
Wishing you all a harmonious and productive late summer!